Brother Dom Chrysostom Christie-Searles, OSB

About halfway through walking the Camino, I was in León. I had kept up a good clip and I said I had to rest for a while. I came to the Paradores Hotel. If you have seen the movie ”The Way” that’s where the actors stayed, so I stayed there in a very nice room and just rested. The Paradores is actually an old monastery itself. It was a monastery that they converted into a hotel. It’s where people would stay on route to Santiago. 

I remember being on the second floor of the old cloister. Beautiful day. I was sitting and writing in my journal and just being open and thinking. And an angel didn’t come up and hit me upside the head with his wings, or I didn't fall off, fall down, and go blind or anything. I just heard a very simple, but distinct and clear voice saying, “John, I want you there,” and I just said, “Alright. OK. No problem.”

So, I finished the Camino. I went to Portugal for about a week for some R & R. Then I got on a plane and flew back to Pennsylvania. Three days later, I was on a train to Christ in the Desert Monastery and then I was telling Father Benedict that I thought I was supposed to be there, and I believed I did have a vocation. 

 He said, “Great. Finish off this school year and we’ll see you in June.” And I said, “OK.” He wanted me here for the feast; the birth of Saint John the Baptist, because it’s a big day. And that day I came, and I haven’t left since 2017.

Our work can be physically demanding. Our lives can be physically demanding. Our lives are also those of introspection because people think you come to a monastery to escape the world, to shrug responsibility, or, whatever. If you come to a monastery for that, you’re not going to stay there for very long because you bring all your problems with you. And guess what, in the silence, they will creep up on you and they’ll be magnified in a way that you won’t have out of the world for distractions and other things. And so this is not an escape. You bring things to work off, but you can’t escape from things. Coming here thinking this is, well, I don’t have to—everything will be fine because I’ll be away—no. Things will still be here because they are with you. Because wherever you are, you are there. So that is a challenging and a process of faith and spirit, nurturing that you have to undergo as a monastic. It’s not Club Med, it’s not a naval gazing picnic, it’s really a lot of hard work. And if you want to escape hard work, don’t come to a monastery. If you want to sleep in late, don’t come to a monastery. 

Brother Andre—a former guest master—used to say people would come to the monastery and say, “Here I am Lord. I’ve come to do my will.” You know? It’s like, it’s, ‘No, it’s not your will. It’s His will.’ And His will is not always understandable, easy to follow, or even pleasant. But if you’re serious about being a follower of Christ and you’re serious about seeking God, you’re also serious about following His will, then you do what you discern to be His will.