Poonam Arora

I went through a real crisis in my life when I had chosen to marry into a family, to marry a person of my own choice. I realized after I had gotten married that I’d made a huge mistake. The family was extremely, extremely orthodox, and extremely conservative, and extremely restrictive on my freedom as a woman. And so, I had to decide to divorce this person whom I loved very much, and to divorce this family. 

At that time, in my social context, I had never, ever encountered a divorced woman; I had no idea what it meant to divorce, especially as a result of one’s own choice. I had made a choice against much social opposition, and then I realized that I had made a mistake, and I had to correct it. 

And there was no space for a divorced woman in that society. I couldn’t rent a place; I could barely hang on to my job. I faced a lot of discrimination. I was treated as a loose woman. And basically, there was really no place that I could occupy in that society. 

It was a crisis. I happened to have gone for this meditation retreat and the only principle I came away with was that there are forces of goodness, and if you plug yourself into those forces of goodness and you send out that goodness, goodness comes your way. And if you send out evil, and sadness, and depression, and frustration, and despair, then that’s what comes your way.

So, my concept of faith is to be eternally optimistic. At that time, it seemed very, very, very, very difficult. It was like social suicide. But I came out and I realized, OK, so this is just a handicap, and it does not mean that my basic humanity has to be violated or defeated. If I continue to meditate and not live a selfish life, if I live with a view to understanding and empathizing with all that which is around me, then I have to have faith that empathy will be directed back at me, and it’ll make life easier for me. And it did. It did. It totally turned my life around.